Fight for Joy

The Awakening

2011-09-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

I needed a way to post this on facebook since it wouldn't let me post a document...

Hey ACF! We are excited that you are joining us for the Awakening, and we hope that you are getting prepared for next week. Expect and ask God to move in big ways while we press into Him. If you’ve never fasted before or if you want a schedule to follow for the week – and if you decide to fast from food – this is a good one to try out. This is a “Daniel” type fast, meaning that we will abstain from certain types of food. If you are planning on following a different plan, by all means go for it! But be disciplined and follow through. Run hard after Jesus this week!

From now until Monday the 26th:
-prepare for the fast - cut out sugar and caffeine, and drink lots of water! Sugar crashes and caffeine headaches aren’t fun.

September 26th:
-Fruits and vegetables throughout the day. Drink lots of fluids! Water and juice, but nothing artificial and loaded with sugar.
-Normal dinner – make sure you have some protein in there (fish, eggs, chicken, etc.)

September 27th:
- Fruits and vegetables throughout the day. Drink lots of fluids!
-Normal dinner

September 28th:
- Fruits and vegetables throughout the day. Drink lots of fluids!
-Normal dinner

September 29th:
-Fruits and vegetables only

September 30th: FASTING DAY
-water, juice only

October 1st:
-Small meals throughout the day, water only

**Since you won’t be eating throughout the day, those are great times to be approaching the Lord in prayer. And feel free to meet with your friends and feast (see what I did there?) on the Word and pray together!

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." -Matthew 5:6

I becomes We becomes Others

2011-03-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

I work part time doing youth ministry at a church where the average age is over 50. At first, this was a strange experience for me because I've never been part of an 'older' church. Being part of a more traditional church has definitely stretched me. I'm still not entirely used to it, but it's been awesome to get to know people better there. They have great hearts.

The youth group I lead meets on Sunday nights in various homes of people in the congregation. I've been really blessed by their generosity. Because of them we have a youth group that can meet in comfy living rooms where we can eat delicious snacks and play awesome games. Earlier tonight I met with students at a house where the owners' grandchildren are around my age. They even have two great-grandchildren! I really respect their leadership in the church. Like other people in the congregation, they realize that unless they change things, the average age of the members will continue to increase until there is no more church there. They are beginning to form a plan of action to reach out to the community to make more disciples, and it's been an exciting and challenging time!

I used to think that it would be difficult for this church to change because they seemed to be so set in their ways, but they are making some good steps forward. It seems like it would be so hard for an 'old' church to become 'young.'

But tonight, I was filled with more hope for the church. I had a short but meaningful conversation with the man of the house. He's a war vet and a patriot and a good leader and a follower of Christ. He asked me about me and my fiance and I told him that we are excited to get married in two months! He is also excited for us, but he's still also very excited about his marriage. On March 1st, he and his wife will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. How awesome is that! I respect couples who can say that...they should brag about it as much as they want...maybe not brag, but they should celebrate ti as much as they want. Anyway, I told him that I really appreciate and respect that.

He told me that, for their marriage to work, they had to move from "I" to "we." He said it gets fun when you get to the point of "we." But he said it gets even more fun when you move from "we" to "others." He and his wife have enjoyed their marriage. Just then I realized that this little church has a unique opportunity to get this church to grow. First, they are committed. If they can commit to marriage for that long, then they certainly can stay committed to changing the face of their church. I realized that the members of this congregation are very wise. They have the ability to invest in younger generations and pass on the wisdom they've acquired over time. That would create meaningful and lasting relationships.

I don't know...like I said, they have a way to go but they're on the right track. The Lord wants to be made greater in Penns Valley, so He'll use that church. He's given them a very unique set of skills and gifts to do a God-sized task, and I'm excited to see how it all plays out!

Teach Me Some Melodious Sonnett...

2011-03-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple worship songs I've been diggin lately...enjoy!

Winning

2011-03-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

I'm in a goofy mood right now...jamming to U2, watching youtube...which put together = U2b (bad joke...told you I'm in a mood). But there's a lot in store for me soon. I am getting married in 72 days which means that I will also (hopefully) be starting a new job doing full time ministry shortly after that. Both of these things make me more excited than anything, but they also intimidate me a little bit. These two responsibilities are no easy tasks to do well. And I want to do them well.

These huge responsibilities make me feel small. I can't do them as well as I want by myself. These are God sized things, and God sized things are hard, and it's easy to give up. When I do that, I feel lost. Something within me (and pretty much everyone) wants to win, to overcome, to succeed. Oftentimes we get excited, have good intentions, and then fizzle out. Lately I've been reading through different parts of the Old Testament (mostly Joshua and 1, 2 Samuel) looking at some of the early leaders of Israel. It's interesting to see how that tiny little nation prospered and seemed to fizzle out with the coming and going of leaders. Israel was strong and prosperous with godly leaders and weak with ungodly leaders. Joshua may have been the most 'successful' leader of Israel: he led them into the promised land by driving out other nations (this dude was a stud) all the while keeping Israel focused on the Lord (a solid politician as well).

While I'm not going to be leading a nation, it made me think about my leadership. What are my strengths/weaknesses? Where do I need to grow? Where am I failing or falling short? Having all of that in mind, I thought about Joshua and all of his success. Was this guy just a superhuman stud with an incredible competitive drive to succeed? I think that's what the world wants us to be like. "You want it? Go and get it for yourself! Don't let anyone take it from you!"

I don't think this was the core of Joshua's character. He may have been competitive, but that didn't drive him. What made him so great was that he didn't view himself as great. All he did was follow the Lord. At the beginning of the book of Joshua, God gives him some promises (paraphrased): "Every place your foot touches I have given to you. You will have success wherever you go if you be careful to do according to all the law. All you need to do is be strong and courageous."

Well, Joshua did that. He obeyed God and he was strong and courageous, and I think Joshua would say that God did the rest. Do you know what Joshua means in its original language? It means 'Yahweh is salvation.' His name reminded him (and others) every day that he wasn't the one with the plan. Joshua wasn't saving Israel from the cities of people who didn't want the Israelites there. God did it. Israel entered the promised land and drove all sorts of people out of it, and they became wealthy from the spoils of war. And not one time did Joshua fall or lead Israel astray. Because Joshua was faithful, Israel prospered. Other generations weren't so lucky. Israel seemed like a roller coaster of good and evil leaders.

Joshua seemed to be the prototypical leader for the Israelites - obey God, follow him boldly and you'll win. Failing to be obedient is disastrous. I'm surprised at how devoted he was to following God's will. He must have been so focused and he must have cared so much for his people to be disciplined enough to always seek God first.

...Which leads me back to me. If I'm a husband and a pastor and I'm not seeking God first, of course it's going to be a disaster! And that's because I can't do those things by myself. My plans and vision and dreams and desires will fizzle out when I get discouraged or lost. But when I do begin to fizzle out, that doesn't change God's plans, and his plans are perfect. Thank goodness he doesn't change them based on my emotions!

I think that sometimes people get so focused on leadership that they forget how to follow. I've found that when I am not obedient and I forget what it looks like to follow the Lord, my life is way less fruitful (branches can't produce fruit unless they're connected to the vine). And how much despair do we have when we're lost! So quickly do we forget God's promises: "I will never leave you nor forsake you...do not let this book of the Law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."

If God makes that promise, as long as we're faithful, we're winning. Sure, it's not easy, but isn't it harder to try to do it without the Lord?

Say It Out Loud

2011-03-05T16:02:00.000-08:00

This is a game I've been playing the past couple weeks. The game is "Say It Out Loud," and it's quite simple. Basically, if you're in a situation and you don't know what to do, say it out loud. If you need to make a decision, say it out loud. Saying it out loud helps make sense of the pros and cons.

A semi-humorous example:

My old roommate Ryan is a really intelligent guy who says whatever he thinks. Some of the things he says are ridiculous, and that always makes for fun conversation. One day I walked in and Ryan was sitting on the couch watching tv and he told me about 'a brilliant idea' he had.

When Ryan says this, I always listen. I listen because his ideas are always interesting. However, my most common response to his ideas is "Ryan, that's a terrible idea." And we proceed to debate and discuss.

Anyway, Ryan told me that he was going to become a millionaire. When I asked how he was going to make that happen, he told me that he was going to gain 200 pounds and go on the tv show The Biggest Loser.

"Ryan, that's a terrible idea."

While we both agreed that it might be fun to sit and play video games and eat tons of food, I was surprised to hear him say it. Ryan loves being active - he's always doing something: mountain biking, basketball, tennis, snowboarding. After talking with him a little more, he realized that he liked his life too much the way it was, and decided not to change it.

This isn't a story to make fun of Ryan. He's going to be my best man, and he isn't an idiot - this guy is intelligent. Saying it out loud helped him see the situation more clearly. But I think that everyone gets excited about ideas or thoughts that they have. I think we get too excited about our thoughts, and that's why we need to say it out loud. I don't know why, but saying stuff out loud helps me to organize my thoughts and it helps me to think more clearly.

"I'm going to eat this whole bag of beef jerky. Ya know, I just said it out loud, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Yes it tastes good, but if I'm that hungry I might as well make myself an actual meal."

"I want to play xbox...but you know what, my xbox will still be there after I do my laundry and get my other work done."

"I just got paid and I can't wait to buy some new clothes. Actually, Adam, you have a closet full of clothes. Save your money because you'll need it more when you're married (in three months!!!).

"I want to sleep in another 30 minutes. Well, since you got some stuff done yesterday, it wouldn't be a problem to sleep in."

Here's one I've heard on campus a few times: "This weekend I just want to get drunk and forget everything that happened." You said it out loud...how does that make any sense? This is where we need to make good decisions before doing the things we want to do.

Seriously, this is a good game. It's fun to play by yourself or with a group of friends. While it's fun to think of ridiculous things to 'say out loud,' it's also good practice for making responsible decisions.

Excellence

2010-12-05T19:07:00.000-08:00

I was a bit bored the other day, and so I began to think. Thinking is normally fun, and sometimes I surprise myself with the things I think about. During this particular occasion, I thought about excellence. I'm a huge sports fan, so I'm always really impressed when athletes do their job well. But this drive for excellence isn't just noticed on a playing field. When I think of the word excellent, the word expert also comes to mind. A teacher once told me that in order to be considered an expert at something, one spends about 10,000 hours performing that task or job. 10,000 hours...that's a little over 416 days. 416 days of someone's life dedicated to something specific. I think that goes to show how important it is to work at something in order to be good at it.

Think about this: Tiger Woods (even though he's had a rough year), one of the greatest golfers of all time, had racked up about 10,000 hours of time on the golf course before he could drive (a car...you might get the pun). Steve Prefontaine (google him if you don't know who he is) ran his way into the 10,000 mile club before he even went to Oregon - where he would set all kinds of track and field records. It's easy to measure excellence in sports because it's easy to compare performance and statistics. By the time these two guys went to college, they had already dedicated over a solid year of their life doing nothing but practicing, training, competing. Sure, they were talented, but think about how much more time they invested in their sport compared to other people their age. It's crazy.

These are the things I think about. I love watching people do things they are good at. Good actors, good comedians, good athletes, good singers, good preachers, good parents, good teachers...the list goes on. I get a lot of joy out of that. And when I think about the amount of time they spend practicing and getting better, it really amazes me.

And then I think about myself. 10,000 hours...have I even done anything for a solid 10,000 hours? The only thing I can think of is sleep. I guess I'm an expert sleeper. Another thing that could come close to 10,000 hours of time is watching tv...and easily half of that is sports. So sleep and tv...total that up and it's about 20,000 hours...which means about 2 1/4 of my life...and I think that estimation might be on the low side. I'm 23. Does that mean I'm an expert at being lazy?

It's just a really interesting thing to think about. How many things are worth spending 10,000 hours doing? I guess that's for you to answer. I'm pursuing a career in ministry...I can definitely say that I haven't spent 10,000 hours prepping, studying, etc. for that. Going further, what if we spent 10,000 hours reading the Bible? You'd probably be able to recite it cover to cover from memory. What if we prayed for 10,000 hours? I can't imagine how God would use us.

I've heard so many times how we're supposed to tithe and give not just our money, but our time and our talents as well. We are to tithe at least a tenth. What if we spent a tenth of a year (about a month and two weeks) every year in solitude with the Lord? That's about 2.5 hours a day. What if we actually spent a tenth of our lives serving others? I once heard that if every single church member tithed 10 percent, world hunger would no longer exist. These are the things I've been thinking about. 10 percent doesn't seem like much time until you think of ten percent of a year or it doesn't seem like too much of a sacrifice until it's 10 percent of your paycheck.

But God calls us to do these things. If I spent 10,000 hours in solitude with the Lord, praying and reading my Bible, how would that change my spiritual life? How would my habits change, and how would I treat other people? How could I help others? Why does God call us to do these things? It's not to make us miserable, but he wants us to do things with excellence, and I definitely want to serve God with excellence.

Jesus Got What We Deserve

2010-11-10T18:01:00.000-08:00

In addition to my part time job in youth ministry, I recently took a part time job at a brand new Chick-Fil-A in State College. It's not my ideal position, but the people who work there are great, and the boss is awesome, so I'm not complaining. Working there allows me to interact with all sorts of different people. I normally work in the front of the store, so I take lots and lots of orders. I like to think I've been around the block enough to not be surprised by things people do in public, but I've been taken aback a few times already, and I've only been there for three weeks! The one that still gets me (and it happens every day) goes something like this:

Me: "Hi, welcome to Chick-Fil-A! How may I serve you?"
Person: "Yes...I need a #4..."

...and the rest of the conversation doesn't really matter for the purpose of the rest of this discussion. As soon as I hear "I need," I immediately think, 'Do you really NEED a filet of chicken that's been fried in oil for three minutes with a Coke and a large waffle fry (also cooked in oil)? Sure, this food tastes really good, but does your life depend on this meal? You actually NEED it? My guess is you don't really need it. You want it. You'd like to eat it...you'll survive if you don't get it. In fact, you probably don't NEED anything from this restaurant. The only thing you might actually need from this establishment is, if you're like me, a job.'

Of course I smile and happily serve them their food and wish them a good rest of the day, but every time I hear someone say 'I need' while ordering, I am seriously amazed at the sense of entitlement that people have today - and this covers many generations. I have heard a representative from nearly every age group besides children begin their order with 'I need.'

If you 'need' a delicious chicken sandwich, how do you handle other situations? What are your other 'needs?' What kind of expectations do you have? How about this: before you give me a coupon for a free sandwich and tell me that you need it, why don't you give that coupon to someone who actually needs to be fed without spending money.

This sense of entitlement makes me pretty upset, as you may have gathered. I am not innocent of this attitude either, although I am trying hard to stop. Here's how I learned I had an entitlement issue: Two years ago while going to Penn State, I had to run a quick errand one day, and it required me to park the car. Not wanting to pay for parking, I passed on the garage and parked in an area with metered parking. I didn't have change, but I was only going to be a couple minutes. Five minutes later I come back to see a sunshine-colored envelope gently tucked underneath my left windshield wiper. 15 bucks out of my pocket...I was royally ticked off. I was only running in and out! I was going to leave quickly! I didn't have any change! Should I fight this ticket?

Now seriously, how ridiculous does that sound? Was that my parking spot? Does it really matter if I was going to be there for even two minutes without paying? That's why they have the meters there...you're supposed to pay for parking. And think about it, it was really silly of me to get so worked up about this. I didn't follow the rules, and I deserved that ticket (as much as I hated to pay for it). These instances happen to people all the time, and people get upset about these things all the time. And if people get upset because of little things like this, then what happens for bigger and more important things? How can you answer that?

I normally write this blog just to get my thoughts out there, but the purpose of this one is to not only force me to examine my own life, but also to challenge the three of you who will read this. In what situations do you expect things to go your way? How do you handle things when they don't go your way? What are your needs? What are your expectations? Are they really helping you - or more importantly, are they helping others? Where do you need to look out more for the interests of others?

What do you deserve? Think bigger picture. (Hint: It's in the title)

Tumbling After

2010-10-31T19:56:00.001-07:00

A strange thing happened to me earlier this evening. I have the awesome privilege of pastoring a small group of students part time. I love it, and I feel alive when I do it, but it's not easy...I wish I had more time for it because I am not always that good at finding ways to relate things to the students...and I'm a pretty poor public speaker so I need lots of time to practice.

But you know what? That doesn't really bother me. Sure, I'd like to be much better at that but it's not like I accept it and give up...I keep pressing on. And if someone remembers what it is I stumble through saying, then I can't take any credit for it...that's all Jesus. I like the way that works.

I usually get a little nervous before I start the lesson with the students. Honestly, it's a little uncomfortable for me a lot of times I feel like I'm struggling through the evening...through leading worship (I'm not a very gifted musician either) and giving a lesson, I mess up chords and stutter and lose my train of though but I end up finally articulating the message I want to deliver and then I pray that all of the things I do which may be a distraction will not affect the students' ability to soak in the message. Like I said, I get a little nervous every time I start because I want it to go well, but I mostly get nervous because I really want the students to develop a deep and passionate relationship with Jesus and I tend to feel the weight of my responsibilities as a youth leader. I realize that I am in a position to have an impact in the lives of these students, and I want to leave a good mark.

Over the past two weeks, I was planning the lesson for earlier this evening, and I got really excited because the Lord gave me some good ideas and good illustrations for a pretty important passage of scripture: Philippians 1:18-30. Basically, Paul is sharing with the Philippians that, regardless of what happens to him, Christ will be proclaimed, and whether he lives or gets killed, he will glorify God. And because of that, he wants the Philippians to live a life worthy of the Gospel. Why? because if they don't, then they're basically wasting Paul's ministry in prison. That is strong. That is inspiring. I want that in my life, and I want that for my students. Clearly this is a deep passage of scripture, but it's so good. How often to we fall short of living a life worthy of the Gospel of Christ - wasting our ministry as Christians?

Back to the beginning of youth group tonight. Thinking about all of the scripture I just briefly explained, and realizing the depth and importance of Paul's charge, I got really anxious...not just the normal butterflies, but really sweaty palms and an increased heart rate. I've never had a panic attack before, but that's probably the closest I've ever come to one, and all of the students were sitting there watching me, ready for me to get things started. Before we start we always pray. Usually I have a student open us up but tonight I prayed. I prayed in desperation. I felt very small and very alone. I needed big strength. The rest of the night went about normal: I stuttered a lot and missed a few chords, but I really didn't care. I don't mind looking like a fool. After praying, the nerves went away and we had a good discussion. I don't know what the students got out of this evening, but I was so stoked to feel the Lord carrying me through youth group when I felt very much alone and weak. Paul had great courage for continuing to make God's name greater even while in prison...that reminded me to be courageous even though my situation pales in comparison to what Paul experienced. I believe I was under some spiritual attack tonight, and Jesus fought for me where I was weak. That's a huge encouragement for me.

It's easy to get discouraged and upset when we feel like we're wasting our ministry as Christians (or not being as effective or salty as we'd like), but the Lord showed me once again that all we need to do is show up and He'll take it from there. It takes courage and lots of faith and trust, but experiencing that kind of love leaves me hungry and wanting more. May the Lord give us the desire to obey and serve fiercely, and may our lives have a radical flavor.

Something Better

2010-09-21T20:34:00.000-07:00

This song has been on repeat in my head for the past few days. It's a prayer for revival and renewal...thus it is my prayer for me and the students I lead (but not just those things). I love how simple it is, and I love how often the words "take this" are sung. It's all "take this," which obviously means that he doesn't like it and is tired of dealing with it because he knows there is something better, and he asks for whatever that "something better" is. Now we don't always know what exactly that "something better" is, but when we pray knowing that we need to change or that we need something better (or need to live for something better), those prayers will be answered. They may not be answered in the ways we expect, but be confident that the Lord is transforming us into something better.

Enjoy the video!

College Top Ten List

2010-09-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

Here's a list of the ten best parts of my college experience. I want to go into greater depth for each year, but this will get it started. Here we go...

The Top Ten Moments/Memories of My Penn State Experience

10. My freshmen year dorm - would never have chosen to live with those 5 guys (except for Christian) but I loved it. Had some really interesting moments and loved living with them. If I had a blog my freshman year, you would have been able to read about some pretty crazy stories.

9. Penn State Football - if you know me, you may be surprised to see this so low on the list. That goes to show how awesome college was for me. There are specific moments where football was awesome, but this is the overall football experience during the last four years. 40 some wins and three bowl victories...not bad at all! And the student section never failed to entertain - I was stoked to be part of it.

8. Regular meetings with Aaron Henning - I would be lying if i said the relationship Aaron and I developed was not influential in my spiritual growth. His wisdom and compassion for me certainly played an immensely important role in my leadership development...and sense of humor actually. It was fun to have really serious conversations while making each other laugh.

7. Freshman Guys Bible Study - my freshman year was awesome, and so was bible study...and so were the rest of the guys in the bible study. I made some incredible relationships from that group, and I was so excited to be inspired and challenged by them every week. Looking back on it now, it's amazing to think about the leadership potential from that group. Quite impressive.

6. Winter Break Roadtrip - During my freshman year, I was asked by my Bible study leader if I wanted to go see Penn State take on Tennessee in the Outback Bowl. I said yes, and proceeded to have an amazingly fun week filled with golf, sun, beach, Dave Hine throwing up, great conversation, and a great Penn State upset!

5. ACF Baptism Services - during my time at Penn State, I went to all 8 baptism services, and I think I cried in 7 of them. There's something really powerful about seeing close friends make a stand for Christ...definitely a time to celebrate! Every time someone was baptized, all I could think about was how Satan absolutely hated what was happening. Victory is delicious!

4. ACF - most of these moments/memories/experiences are because of Alliance Christian Fellowship. Making ACF my home was the easiest and probably best decision I made while in college. The friends I made and the weekly fellowship from ACF continue to impact me. I'll be friends with some of those people for a very long time

3. Freshman/Sophomore Guys Bible STUDy - no, this is not a repeat. This is when I was co-leading it. Seeing those shy freshman guys transform to the next generation of ACF leadership was a huge source of joy for me and I'm so glad I was there to pour into them. Love those guys!

2. Living at the HOP - I loved living here, 15 minute walk to campus = far enough away that the partiers will not be a bother! Loved the parties we had there, loved the conversations I had there. Mostly, I'm super grateful for living with the roommates I had: Christian, Ryan, Aaron, Kyle. These guys didn't live at the HOP all at the same time, but they were the best. Ryan Stauffer is my best man for a reason, and that is largely because of the moments we shared at the HOP...I should make a top ten list of events at the HOP...unfortunately, only three people would think it would be legitimately funny, and I'm one of them.

1. Building a relationship with my (then future) fiance - enough said really. A total blessing. A life changing event.

I like making lists like these because it makes me think of everything that happened. It was pretty tough to narrow it down to just ten. Here are some honorable mentions: Mission Trip to New Orleans, Summer Internship in Alabama, PSU-Illinois basketball game junior year (I have to share that story!), and pranking Kate freshman year.

Go.

2010-09-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

This morning I heard a really good sermon from one of the members of Grace United Methodist church - the church I'm working at. They are doing this thing called the Matthew 28 Initiative, which, if you've read Matthew 28, it's where Jesus commissions his disciples to go out and make disciples. Well, now we are Jesus' disciples, and so we must obey this command. This tiny little church is taking this seriously, and I am excited to see how this will impact the community...if we all take it seriously. Being in contact with the students, I am excited to try to empower them to take ownership of this Initiative, because they have the ability to impact an area of the community where most people cannot: other teenagers. And it is cool to think that many instances of revival and renewal occurs in the teenage crowd. This morning got me excited for the year to come, and hopefully we can come up with some cool ideas to help the students grow and get excited about the mission field that is Penns Valley Area High School.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-09-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

College went pretty fast, and it was awesome...I'll have to post a list of my top ten moments in college or something...that'll be an entertaining treat for sure. But now I don't have to go to class, so that means I need to get a job. What I really want to do is work full time for a church, and I pray for that opportunity pretty much every day. Until then, or at least until I get married, I am working part time for a nearby church as youth director. The people there are great, and I'm excited to finally get that started! I believe cool things are going to happen this school year.

But I'm getting side tracked. That is only a part time job, which means that I have a lot of extra time. Obviously, I would love to fill those hours with fantasy football analysis, SportsCenter, a healthy dose of XBOX Live, and whatever extra time I have would go into playing the new Halo game, cooking, eating, sleeping, and hanging out with my fiance Meagan. But since my desire to provide for both Meagan and myself is greater than my passion for leisure, I am looking for another part time job. The job search process is really stupid right now because I really have no desire to do anything other than mentoring students and working in a church. This clearly limits my options, and since I already have a part time job, my availability isn't all that great either.

That being said, I have filled out a good number of applications over the past week or so. I can't say that I enjoy filling them out, but nearly every application has asked the same question: 'Why are you interested in this job?' And I kindly reply, 'I am interested in this job because I enjoy the specific business to which I am applying and I feel that my given skill set would be beneficial in creating a more improved experience/product at said location.'

Translation: "I want/need money, your money - if you choose to hire me. I promise I'll do a good job and do my best to make everyone's job easier. I will show up on time, do good work, and be reliable. That is a fair trade for the cash you are hopefully willing to provide."

Obviously, I go into greater detail, but that is basically it. I wish I could find something that would feel more like serving or making a difference. I don't want to get paid for a job - I would rather take a return on the time I invest in something, and that's why applying for jobs to help a bigger corporation or business run smoothly or work the way it's supposed to is not fulfilling to me. Rather than saying 'enjoy your meal' I want to say 'let's get lunch and talk about life.' I want to put together care packages for people instead of bagging people's groceries. I would love to find a job where I feel like I'm actually helping people rather than a business. Don't get me wrong, those jobs are necessary, but I want to do something that makes me feel alive, and I feel alive when serving people. Give me a job like that. I'd do it for free if I knew I could get by without the money.

A Question to Ponder...

2010-09-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

When Sting retires, do you think he'll change his name to Stung?

First Week in Bama

2010-05-22T09:11:00.000-07:00

The first week on my internship was a good one, although I didn't do much. I'm supposed to be logging 40 hours a week and this week I logged 16...the internship advisor isn't going to be happy about that, but there just hasn't been a whole lot to do around here. Mark (my boss - the youth pastor) is on vacation and Patrick (my other boss) was basically looking for things for me to do. It's ok - I know I'll have enough hours logged at the end of the summer. Plus, I really needed more of a break - I was more tired from the semester than I thought. Since I haven't had much to do, I've spent my time watching season 2 of 24 (it's a good one!), hanging out with my family, especially Josh, working out at the local YMCA, trying to navigate around the Birmingham area, and Skyping with Meagan.

That being said, I'm really excited to get the summer kicked off! The staff and other interns are really cool, and I think we're going to work really well together. I've already met some of the students and they're awesome - I'm going to enjoy investing in them this summer.

Make the World A Better Place, Punch Finals Week in the Face

2010-05-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

Two blogs in three days...Adam's on fire. I can do this when I don't have anything else going on. Plus, it's fun to write, and I guess I have a knack for it. Writing is what has boosted my GPA from mediocre to acceptable. Now that I'm done with classes forever, I can tell you that it feels phenomenal. I woke up this yesterday morning, realized it was Friday, and then realized that it's been a week since I've gone to class. Finals week is the best week of college.

In my profile about me, I said that this blog would contain some of my personality and how I look at the world. I have not graduated yet, but my degree will be in human development and family studies. Basically, I am a people watcher. That is how I look at the world - I notice what other people do. Penn State is good for people watching.

There is this one person group my roommate Ryan and I are fascinated by - we call them Snugs. Snug stands for "Spandex, Northface, and Uggs." This is a common outfit on a college campus, and I've never quite understood it. In addition to that, all Snugs tend to talk and act the same way. You can frequently find Snugs strutting down the sidewalk with their blackberry/iPhone attached to their ear, wearing sunglasses that cover half of their face, waving their free hand wildly as they make hand motions, brushing their dyed blond hair out of their face, and readjusting their huge bag on their shoulders - they carry their lives in those things. It is common to see that free hand holding a Starbucks coffee or a small container holding a salad. While on the phone, they talk loud enough for everyone to hear - they usually complain to their moms about how their roommates are awful because they don't clean up after themselves. Or they complain about their boyfriends, how ridiculously stupid their professors are, or how excited they are for the weekend to come so they can party and get mad drunk.

I had to tell you that to tell you this:

I had my last final on Thursday, and it was a pretty terrible experience, actually. Not because I was completely unprepared, not because it was ridiculously hard, but because some Snug waltzes in (what I'm saying is completely true), Blackberry in hand, whining about her exam, massive sunglasses holding her hair back, tosses her survival bag down and sits right behind me. Not a big deal. I have made a lot of friends with Snugs - my major is dominated by girls, so I have gotten to know a few of them. Also, I do not hold a personal vendetta against Snugs, they are just fun to talk about because they stick out more than the other groups on campus. I could talk about a lot of different groups on campus...anyways, I did not know this particular girl, but she loaded on the perfume - apparently she wanted to impress someone there, because it was strong. Lucky me - it made me itchy, and I was dripping and sniffling for 90 minutes, trying to finish my exam. I sat there, going through the questions, filling in my bubble sheet, listening to other people sneezing and sniffling. I was trapped and I could not leave until I finished. I had no tissues or handkerchief - I was tempted to wipe my drippy snot all over my exam booklet, but we had to turn those in at the end so I used my shirt instead. By the middle of the exam there was a nice wet and gooey puddle around the collar of my shirt. By the end of the exam, I was no longer drippy, and my shirt collar had solidified to crispy, crusty, flaky nastiness.

As I walked home, I reflected on the last hour and a half of torture, I began to realize that what happened was actually pretty funny. It was a very 'Adam Jepson' way of finishing my last finals week.

Stay tuned for some highlights of my college career.

Just Got Owned in Halo, now I Need to Vent

2010-05-06T12:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since i've blogged - and i need to stop starting every blog of mine with that statement. But there is a reason that I don't write in it much - School, ACF leadership, leading the GUM youth, Bible study, relationships, Halo, sports, guitar...and sleep. All of those things happened almost every day this past semester. That is why blogging has not been high on the priority list lately,

Also, I've been wrestling with why I even have a blog. I've been reading lots of things written by everyday people lately - most of them are Christians. I read their blogs, Facebooks, tweets, and they all sound the same to me. Everyone has their own personal flair, but the tone and message is really pretty similar. People like to tweet (or retweet) quotes from C.S. Lewis, John Piper, G.K. Chesterton, Donald Miller, and other pastors and writers, sharing some creative outlook on life or approach to Christianity. People like to talk about what new and interesting experiences they had, or share a verse that stuck with them from the morning's quiet time and attach with it a small challenge to those who are following them - and to themselves of course...that's why they posted it in the first place. I get things like this multiple times a day, and frankly, it's getting pretty old for me.

I continue to read them because they force me to think and wrestle with my own thoughts. I've been wrestling with why I really don't enjoy these blogs/tweets/facebook/etc. anymore. I think it comes down to the authority with which one uses to get a point across. The authority itself does not frustrate me - I admire the confidence and assertiveness people have to share those thoughts and inspirational nuggets. What bothers me is that authority connotes leadership, and so we have a ton of leaders telling everyone who follows them everything that they think is important. I think this is a problem because, to me, everyone is trying to lead and follow at the same time - and I include myself in this. You can't be a leader and a follower in the same circle of people - you can't do both. It's too confusing for everyone, and that makes leadership (and following) less effective.

This why I haven't been blogging or even tweeting as much Christianity stuff. I imagine some people feel the same way as me, and being flooded with these messages that many of us have already heard is tiring. I feel like I need a detox...maybe this is because I'm already so incredibly involved in ministry things - it is a huge part of my week.

Whatever it is, those are my thoughts, and I basically just weakened my argument by writing this. Why do we all have an agenda that we feel needs to be heard by everyone?

What's a Doppelganger?

2010-02-02T13:55:00.000-08:00

I would like to interrupt your long, cold, (hopefully not so) lonely winter to share with you a revelation I had earlier today. Some of you may be aware that it is 'Doppelganger Week' on Facebook.

"But Adam! I don't even know what doppelganger even means!" Fear not. As reported by dictionary.com, you now know what it means:

Dop⋅pel⋅gäng⋅er
/ˈdɒpəlˌgæŋər; Ger. ˈdɔpəlˌgɛŋər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [dop-uhl-gang-er; Ger. daw-puhl-geng-er]

–noun
a ghostly double or counterpart of a living person.

Now that we have that out of the way, I can explain the epidemic that's happening on Facebook. Basically, if anyone has ever said you look like someone famous, you post a picture of the celebrity look alike as your profile picture and try to get others to do the same. It's actually pretty scary how close some of my friends look like other well known people. As for me, I think God is laughing at my misfortune, and I envy all of you who have a celebrity look alike.

Let me explain...

Here's my friend Jordan...this is only the side of his face, but the other side looks exactly the same.

Now compare him to the more famous Tom Cruise...

Pretty close right? Or take my girlfriend, Meagan, as another example:

Isn't she so pretty?? I certainly lucked out. Now look at this:

Am I dating Meagan? I don't know...I might as well be dating Natalie Portman's twin. That's pretty cool, right? It's awesome to look like someone who is good looking. That's where I get frustrated. Look at this...it's a picture of me and my dog Charlie.

I must admit, I am by no means an ugly person. I have enough confidence and self esteem to say that. I mean, Meagan is attracted to me, so I must have done something right. My 'celebrity' look alike makes me nauseous.

Here it comes...

Wait for it...

Wallace and freaking Gromit. People have actually said that i look like him, and he isn't even real! If you ask me, that looks more like my dad because they're both folically challenged. Only on certain occasions might I look like that.

Ok. I guess that's pretty close. Wallace still isn't real! Thank you, Doppelganger Week, for reminding me of the cruel trick that nature has played on me.

I blame my parents.

Welcome Me Back!

2010-01-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

I remembered the other day that I had a blog. It's been nearly 5 months since I last blogged so I hope my three or so followers weren't holding their breath in anticipation for my next post. My last post mentioned that I was going to be very busy during the semester. Well, I survived it, as it is now the spring semester! Not only did I survive it, but I loved it! I was never bored, and almost always doing something: planning, teaching, listening, studying, typing, writing, reading...the school breaks were life saving, however I somehow managed to earn my highest semester GPA yet which was pretty darn awesome. (No...my GPA is not something I brag about...because there is nothing to brag about)

Anyway, I was so wrapped up in everything that I forgot to blog like I said I would. Based on my last post, here are some updates:

-Youth ministry has been great. I've enjoyed building relationships with those students, leading worship, and speaking from the Word. Hanging out with them takes up a huge chunk of my Sunday afternoons and evenings, but I always feel refreshed and ready to take on the week.

-ACF rocks. It stinks that this will be my last semester serving that Church. The people there are pretty darn serious about seeing the Lord more clearly and knowing Him more. My Bible STUDy guys make me proud. I'm gonna miss them a ton - perhaps more than most people. (I do not consider this favoritism...we just have a lot of quality time invested in one another) Another personal highlight is that Thursday Morning Prayer is really growing and we fill our little prayer room to capacity every week! The Lord is moving...

-I already talked about school...probably my least favorite part because it all feels like busy work to me but I'm going to have a degree in a solid program from a well known institution...strong.

-Last post I mentioned starting a blog on dating...mainly because every book I've read on dating is pretty weak (with the exception of 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye.') That is, until I read 'I Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah' by Ravi Zacharias. That book is everything that needs to be said about dating because it doesn't focus on the other individual and how the couple should act. Instead it focuses on what your relationship with Jesus needs to look like and how that will change your relationships. It's very good. I'd even recommend it to high schoolers.

This semester is probably going to be more of the same: Busy busy! But it's good. I'll try to stop in and blog, because I like writing, but I can't make any promises. I only write when I have a cool idea, and those ideas usually emerge in my free time.

Now I'm done.

Colbie Caillat on A Rainy Day

2009-08-27T11:38:00.000-07:00

So I was just journaling, and I felt like blogging, so I decided to sit down and type instead of write. As I was walking to my computer, I was thinking of what to name the title, and initially it was going to be 'On A Rainy Day.' Then I noticed that Colbie Caillat was playing on my iTunes, so I decided to add that...then I realized it rhymed, and I became very satisfied with myself. I've been killing the unintentional simple rhymes lately...I'm just that cool. I'm so cool that I even laugh at myself when I do it...

So there are some pretty cool things going on in my life right now. School is back in action, and that's kinda nice. It's good to be with my friends...school is just alright, but hey it's my senior year, so hopefully all of these 'just alright' classes will soon give me a 'crazy awesome' job.

Speaking of job, I just got hired to lead a youth group part time at a church in Centre Hall! How crazy awesome is that? It's weird to think that at the beginning of the summer I was wrestling with whether or not God was calling me into ministry, and through a couple conversations and and a whole lot of prayer, I feel as though the Lord confirmed my call, and now lookie! I get to spend a year with high school students and hopefully I'll get out of the way enough to let God do something amazing in their lives. I am really excited!

In addition to that, I'm also incredibly stoked for ACF this year! This is my third year serving as an elder, and it blows my mind to see how the Lord has used a handful of full time students to give direction to this church. This is my home - I feel a connection there that I get nowhere else, and I can't wait to see what is in store for this year. My guess is it's going to be incredible.

So yeah, I'm gonna be busy: ACF. School. Youth group. I'll keep you posted.

That's all for now. I could write a lot more, but for the sake of my three readers, I'll stop. I'll be blogging frequently, so don't go crazy! There's plenty more of my brain to read in the near future. Here's what's on the list of future blogs:

-My thoughts on dating - i might actually start a new blog on that
-My experiences in youth ministry - I will most likely start a new blog on that as well...the links will be on this page, so you can find it easily
-the awesomeness that is ACF
-more of the same sweetness that is my life

**Read my previous blog post...it's one of my favorites so far!**

Where Did He Come Up WIth This?

2009-08-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was this deer and he wandered through the woods looking for friends and food. (Food and friends were two of his most favorite things) One day he and his friends decided to go hang out and find something really fun to do, like frolic through meadows or go irritate an old, lazy, ornery bear. They walked down an old dirt path to the bear's house until they came upon a strange tree with orange balls falling from it, so they decided to check it out.

The tree was full of oranges. They bumped the tree, and much to their surprise, even more fell to the ground! One poor deer had one land on his face, which gave him quite a fright! After a short time, the deer began to become more curious. They sniffed and licked the oranges, and they immediately were overjoyed with their discovery. They ate oranges until they couldn't move, and they rested under the shade of the orange tree - which didn't provide much shade, but they were happy nonetheless.

Now you know that when you eat that much fruit, you normally have some issues later on, and this instance was no exception. Their bodies passed on all of the oranges that their stomachs couldn't digest, and it laid in small piles throughout the forest. Part of those not so pleasant little treasures contained the seeds of the oranges.

Fast forward to the present...

Not so long ago, the parents of a friend of mine visited Florida and brought back some oranges. I have had oranges before, but let me tell you, these were no ordinary oranges. They were like juicy candy - easily the best oranges that I have ever had! And I was sad when the last one was gone, because I didn't want to go back to eating regular oranges ever again.

The other night I laid in bed, reminiscing about my near life changing encounter with these incredibly delicious oranges. I remembered the smell, the taste, the virtual party in my mouth after every bite I took. And then that got me to thinking about the creativity of our Creator: how in the world is it possible that something that delicious can come from a doodie-covered seed that grew out of the dirt? Something I just ate got its nutrients from dirt, poop, water, and sunshine. Now this story is made up, but the scenario isn't too much of a stretch...so how do those four things help in growing something I enjoyed so much?

Because our Creator is creative, and he is awesome. Have you ever had any mini revelations like that? They're quite fun to ponder, and I think they make life more exciting and enjoyable. Any cool stories out there?

Please Come Home

2009-07-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

Love this song...love the lyrics. Story of my life.

Enjoy!

Thank You Apple!

2009-07-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here with my computer, listening to Pandora Radio (one of my favorite things, especially my Train radio station) and checking my email for the first time in a few days. School is done, and I figured I'd blog since I haven't blogged in two months.

Two months without a blog? Must mean two months without internet...something like that. I must say that there were times when it was nice. I did a lot of homework (I completed my summer classes without constant internet access!) and I did even more reading...for school and for my own entertainment. Tom Clancy knows how to tell one intense and exciting story!

On the other hand, if you have a computer, and you've had internet access in the past, then unwillingly going without internet is a royal pain. I had to do everything from my iphone, which does not replace my computer, but yes, the iphone is one revolutionary tool. while i had no internet, i spent many hours on my iphone doing my homework - flicking and pressing and flipping that tiny black screen checking email, twitter, and researching for class. I wrote about 50 pages worth of papers for my english class - much of the research retreived off of my phone. I have much more appreciation for my iphone now, but I don't want to do that again. It was really frustrating.

I feel bad that I haven't had the ability to blog...had I had internet, I could have written in detail some of my experiences from summer session. Here are a few highlights:

-walking on campus in the summer is really cool. Everything is green, it's quiet because everyone is gone, and the people there are really chill because it's beautiful out.

-the kids-on-a-rope continue in their hilarity:
kid on a rope: (pointing to old main) someone's buried there. hey, did you know that someone's buried there?
adult supervisor: no, there is nobody buried there. that's where the university president works.
kid on a rope: no! some guy got killed and they buried him in there!
adult supervisor: no, nobody got killed, and nobody's buried down there.

it was pretty funny, that kid was so sure that old main was haunted or something...

It feels good to be done with school though. Now I have more time to do other things...like fill out applications so I can finally get a job!

That's My King

2009-05-03T13:17:00.001-07:00

I saw this last week during my last ACF of the year. I wanted to write it out but that wouldn't do it justice. If this doesn't get you excited then you don't have a pulse...

Words are by S.M. Lockridge. Hope you like it!

You said...

2009-03-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

...ask and I'll give the nations to you...that's the cry of my heart...

It's been a long time since I've been able to sing this song. If you haven't heard it, check it out...it's a great piece of worship music by Hillsong (do they make a bad worship song?). No lie, it's really good, but I can't sing it. For the past three years or so I want to sit down while everyone else is worshiping. I want to sit and pray.

But for some reason I don't, I remain standing and I pray. Every time I hear this song I feel conviction. Why? Maybe because it isn't the cry of my heart. I want it to be, but if it was, then I'd be sharing my faith a lot more. Then I'd sing the song asking for more of the nations, rejoicing in God's promises.

A digression: I've been going through Hebrews and it's been fantastic. What a strong argument for the Supremacy of Christ? In Hebrews 6:13-20 the author talks about the certainty of God's promise. God blessed Abraham and swore by himself, "Surely I will bless you and multiply you." God swore by himself (because there is nothing greater than himself) to show how serious He is about his promises to Abraham - and us. God wouldn't break a promise He made...that's out of his character, but to show how serious he is, he swears by himself. What does that mean? It means that we can hope, it means that we should press on to seek God because He's not messing around. He's not taking away His promises. Maybe I should stop focusing on the nations part and rejoice that God is faithful to His word instead! Maybe that's the bigger picture of this song.

Now I have gotten off topic. This is how God usually speaks to me. I have an issue, so I think about it, and many times i conclude that i miss the point completely...or maybe I found the point...so maybe I actually found the real topic for this blog...

If that's what you think, then you may want to stop here because I'm about to make my original point...(Digression closed)

But what I think bothers me most about this song is the asking for the nations part, as previously mentioned. What bothers me more is not that it isn't the cry of my heart, but that we, as a church, ask for the nations and don't always follow through with that. I think of my church, Alliance Christian Fellowship - a church of around 200 or so members (and many more regular attendants) on a Penn State campus of over 40,000 people. Men and women from all over the world come to this institution to study whatever they want. Every populated continent, over 100 countries represented...God has given us the nations.

Sometimes we're so busy that we miss the big picture. I'm not trying to be critical of individuals here - I know some people who do a great job of this. I'm terrible at it, but God has provided us a Harvest. He has been faithful, shouldn't we be faithful to him? This song is borderline annoying to me because it's the same thing every time. It's an amazing worship song - the words, the way it builds - and not doubt people raise their hands and respond...but from my perspective, nothing really happens. I'll be the first to admit, that sounds extremely critical...maybe it is...but as powerful as the lyrics of this song are, I don't think we completely grasp it.

A story I once heard:

There once was a church full of ducks. Every Sunday, all of the ducks and little ducklings waddled into the service, sang their little duck songs, and listened to pastor duck's message: "Friends, you have wings! You can fly! Spread your wings and fly!" And all of the ducks and ducklings quacked loudly and joyously at the message, for it was so incredibly true.

And they all waddled out of the church feeling so blessed and encouraged by the message.

I think we should be jumping through windows to meet the nations after we hear this song. THAT is the cry of my heart. For me and my brothers and sisters.

"I Think We're Going Somewhere, We're on to Something Good Here..."

2009-02-20T10:13:00.001-08:00

I received this message through my facebook account this morning:

It's that atheist you were bugging a while back. My friends and I got a real laugh from your messages. Still gay for Jesus, or have you discovered science and reason? I highly recommend you read "God is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens.

Seriously, life is a lot better when you don't believe in a magic man in the sky controlling everything. Frees the mind. Later sheep.

Sweet. And just yesterday I was praying for opportunities to share my faith with people. He'd probably lose it if he knew that. I've never met this guy, but he went to my high school and he's probably 3 years older than me. I messaged this guy when I was a freshman in college - that was three years ago - and we've left each other alone until now. What possessed him to call me out after all this time? Is he really that angry? Pray for him. His name is Dan.

A Chilly Winter Burn

2009-02-04T12:37:00.000-08:00

Dang. It's been a long cold lonely winter...ok...just long and cold, but I feel like I need to make a return to my blog. A return with some authority. Here are some of my (not so serious) thoughts while I've been gone:

The other day while I was walking to class I saw a dude up ahead of me. I wanted to punch him.

His attire: shaved head, a sweater where the collar zips up (i think he had a shirt on underneath), tight slim cut jeans, and flip flops. No lie...it was under 20 degrees outside. While everyone else was layered with winter coats, hats and gloves, this guy was visibly fighting off shivers. No sympathy here, bro. That cup of Starbucks coffee isn't going to get it done. SoCal called, and they want their idiot back.

Still pondering that dude's poor life decision (PLD), I stumbled into another semi-entertaining situation on my way back from class. I saw some guys (they were probably roommates) making a snowman. Snowmen are awesome. If there was enough snow and I had enough time, I'd put snowmen at every bus stop and public bench in the borough of State College. I'd probably give them signs to hold as well. It would be fantastic. But these guys obviously had not been taught the art of snowman building because they had stacked four giant snowballs on top of each other. It looked pretty silly if you ask me. The next morning on my way to class I walked by the snowman to see it toppled over. This is why you don't make snowmen with four snowballs: it doesn't work. It looks like a huge albino turd frozen into the ground. Now I get to stare at it every day until the middle of March.

Along my walk to school it started to snow, but this was different. It was sunny outside. Now State College's weather can be pretty schizophrenic, but I don't think it's ever snowed here while the sun was shining. Raining while sunny...that happens all the time...but never snow. I love it when it's sunny and rainy here. Last spring I saw a rainbow almost every week. It was beautiful! I don't think I liked a sunny snow all that much. It was too bright for my sensitive eyes, but it lead me to think an interesting thought: when it rains and the sun comes out it makes a rainbow...when it snows and the sun comes out it makes a...what? A snowbow? Something tells me that the chemical properties of frozen flakes of water do not allow that to happen, but it was still something to ponder.

I think this cold weather drives people crazy. People don't think straight. Flip flop boy was obviously not all with it that day. It makes other people do crazy things too...

A couple days ago I made a quick stop in the bathroom to witness an interesting sight. This bro rolls in with his music blazing in his ears for everyone to hear; he washes his hands, pees, and walks out.

Did I miss something? Is it now appropriate to wipe before you poop too? I don't understand people sometimes. My story doesn't stop there...

After class, I stop in another bathroom before my next class starts. I don't have to go, but my hands are cold and I like to thaw them out by running my hands under some warm water. I open the door, take one step, and see this chick drying off her hands. We make eye contact, I stop, check the sign on the door (it was definitely a dude symbol) and walk in and wash my hands. I wanted so badly to start talking to her but I don't think her feet touched the ground as she exited the restroom.

Cold weather makes people do wierd things I guess. I don't mind it. Sledding is a blast! And everyone needs a good snowball fight. Then again, I could always go for sunny and a high of 75...

Chap Stick, Chapped Lips, and...

2009-01-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

I apologize to all of you who read this blog (the 3 of you). Finals and winter break really did me in. No creativity here. I promise I'll write something when I think I have something to say. I hate wasting words and I hate wasting your time...like right now...

Dude, it is so freaking cold outside right now! I have class in two hours, and for some reason the word 'skip' continues to run through my mind. The more it happens, the more likely it'll come to pass. Before you go nuts, I'll let you know that it's 4 degrees Fahrenheit...without the wind chill. I don't really want to walk a half hour to sit in class for 50 minutes, and then walk a half hour back. I don't like picking snotsicles off of my face.

It's good to be back at the HOP though. Living with Ryan and Aaron for a semester will be legendary. Those are two smooth cats right there. Nothing but good vibes coming out of the HOP right now. This is a really good living environment if you ask me...wouldn't trade it for anything.

Perhaps it'll give me something to write about later on...

"A Beloved Beak"

2008-12-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

This is in response to my post a few months ago entitled "Literally Struggling with Forward Motion." It was written by Jordan Egli, a good friend of mine during a class we have together. It made us both laugh. He asked that I put it on my blog but I forgot about it, so I'm doing it now because I want to put off my work for a little while longer. Enjoy!

My name is Adam
I"ll sing you a song...
I really love singing with glee
And telling stories that make me happy

A few days ago I was on my way to class
And then I broke my face.
I shamely looked up and what did I see?
A beautiful girl looking back at me.

"Are you hurt?"
"I'm not sure," I said.
"Is there any way I can help?"
"Well yes," I said.

"You see, I'm bleeding,
But not just my nose
It's my heart for you...
Love, I suppose."

So we took hands
And walked away
I was glad that I fell
(In love) that day.

Originally written September 26, 2008

Keep it Simple

2008-11-02T19:53:00.001-08:00

I read this in a devotional last week and it really encouraged me. I often miss this so I need to preach it to myself:

"A father is delighted when his little one, leaving off his toys and friends, runs to him and climbs into his arms. As he holds his little one close to him, he cares little whether the child is looking around, his attention flitting from one thing to another, or if he's intent upon his father, or just settling down to sleep. The father doesn't care, because essentially the child is choosing to be with his father, confident of the love, the care, the security that is his in those arms." - Basil Pennington

I love this. Lately I've been wrestling with how much I believe what I say I believe because my life often doesn't reflect that. I've been challenged by how much faith it takes to follow Jesus and I see how little faith I've had lately. I've been discouraged by how routine the Gospel sounds to me, and I've been overwhelmed by the long list of things I need to do better. That, and the even longer list of things I should start doing. When this happens I often look at Christianity as a checklist of dos and don'ts, and that's exactly what it isn't. I'm not bound to that, and there is so much more freedom in the arms of my Abba.

So far it sounds like I've had a rough couple weeks but it's been quite the opposite...it's been amazing! While I'd love to be intently listening and doing all of those things right, sometimes I'm just not in tune with the Spirit, but when I just show up I can trust that my Father will gently lead me in the right direction and I'll soon be back on track. God loves it when we, his children, simply come to him and seek his company. He is bigger than our trials, our doubts, our struggles...those things often distract us from the joy of being still in his presence. Slowing down, getting quiet, sitting on Daddy's lap and listening to what He wants to do in my life and being open to that has been a really cool experience, and it makes all of the other things seem less overwhelming because I know he's shaping my heart to do all those things better.

Stoked to Have A 'Y' Chromosome!

2008-10-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

Any time a conversation starts out with, "Now I don't mean to offend anyone, but..." someone's about to get dissed. I love it when people try to pull that trick because it never works. People get offended and make a big deal about it anyways. The story I'm about to share might rub you the wrong way. I'm simply telling the story because I think it's hilarious...and it's my blog. Should you feel yourself becoming agitated simply click the red X in the top corner of your screen and think about punching me repeatedly in the face...maybe that'll make you feel better...if not then think about happy things! Here goes...

Last week a couple of my friends and I grabbed some freshman to hang out so that we could get to know one another better. We get to the HOP (that's what we call my house) and decide to play games. What better way to get to know someone than through some friendly competition? The ratio of males to females was about even, so of course it's gotta be men versus vermin...I mean women (please direct your attention toward the red X at the top right hand corner of your screen). We start out playing 'Battle of the Sexes.' It's a good game, we shared lots of laughs... some of the answers we made up were absolutely ridiculous. Eventually the ladies got bored - probably because we were winning - so we agree to play Catch Phrase. Some of the best memories I have with my friends come out of this game, and this time was no exception...

I love this game because it's fast. I also love it because it forces people to think outside the box. I love to see the way people think when they are rushed. The men lose game one, quite a pedestrian performance at best. I credit the ladies this game...they controlled the timer in superb fashion. We fight back to win game two, and trust me it was a fight. The ladies brought their 'A' game, for sure. After the game, one of the girls says, "Well, should we stop now since we're tied and everyone's happy?" My friend Mitch quickly responds: "The only thing better than beating the girls once is beating the girls twice." Mitch, dudes like you make me stoked to have a Y chromosome! It's game on once again, and we go up 4-0 and we can taste sweet victory, but the ladies come back and suddenly we're in a dogfight at 5-4. They tie it up, and tie it again at 6...next point wins! Everyone is on edge now, ready to bring their team glory. We start, and the timer starts beating faster, it could buzz at any moment! The girls pull out a clutch response and pass it off to Eric freaking Smith...

The only thing going faster than the timer is my heart. Eric glances at the word and goes to work: "OK, stereotype: where the women are supposed to be..." All at once the men shout unanimously, "KITCHEN!" Eric nods and hands the electric game off to the lady sitting beside him, and the buzzer goes off. Ahh sweet, sweet victory in dramatic fashion! And what better way to end it than on a female stereotype!

Come on, you have to admit...that's a good story! Unfortunately all of the ladies probably hate us now...

Jumping for My Parachute...

2008-10-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda bummed right now...I just burned my mouth and tongue sipping my tea. I was really looking forward to it, but now every sip is going to be a burden and far from soothing. Because of that I can't even eat anything, and I'll probably have sores in my mouth tomorrow, so I'm sitting around with nothing to do and I have lots on my mind but I don't want to talk about it because my mouth hurts. Thankfully I don't use my mouth to type so this is a solid choice. I'm done venting now...

What I really want to type about is this: I really appreciate music. I know lots of people who love music more than me and who understand music better than me, but I love how music meets me where I'm at. I love music's ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings. Relient K does this kind of thing to me all the time. I used to despise this band because, at first glance, they come across as really silly. Christians singing about a chick asking this dude out to the Sadie Hawkins dance isn't my idea of spiritual fulfillment. As I listened to more of their music I found that they have this brilliant quirkiness that makes a whole lot of sense. They talk about spiritual stuff in a very creative way and I can really relate to it.

In their song, "Life After Death and Taxes" (a little spoof on a common phrase...they're good at that) there is this one line that I absolutely love. In fact, it's one of my favorite quotes:

And this is how I choose to live
As if I'm jumping off a cliff
Knowing that you'll save me...

I like extreme stuff. I want to strap myself into a parachute and jump out of airplanes and off of cliffs or buildings or bridges. I love that feeling I get when I do stuff like that. I think those lyrics are a great depiction of the Christian life. Sure, life is dangerous and uncertain, but it's also exciting and beautiful! Why stand on the edge and think about the things that could happen? What are we waiting for? Jump! Wouldn't you do so much more stuff if you knew that everything would end up ok? I know I would! Not only that, but I would invite others to join me. "God works for the good of those who love him," right? We have the confidence that we will be safe when we land, so enjoy the ride! That's not to say that we won't get banged up or bruised along the way, but we'll be safe nonetheless.

This is a great thing for me to think about because like so many other people my age, I have no real idea of what my future is going to look like, and based on past experiences, my dreams sell myself short. With all of the things going on in my life - school, friends, church, relationships, ministry, carreer aspirations...the list goes on - wouldn't it be easier for me to jump, enjoy the ride and trust God to have me land right where He wants me? Afterall, where I end up will be better than what I could do for myself. I shouldn't worry about all of that. It's all in the Lord's hands and he's blown my dreams away time and time again. I think life is better this way...I think it's supposed to be this way.

Fight for Joy

2008-10-06T12:33:00.001-07:00

So the name of my blog is 'Fight for Joy.' If you know me, I think you'd agree that the title describes me fairly well. I only just recently realized that my life story thus far has been one complex, messy and beautiful quest for joy. Growing up I searched for happiness...things that I thought would make me happy: friends, popularity, success, material stuff, girls, sports - the list goes on. Those things did make me happy, but much to my surprise, I wasn't satisfied, so I pursued more happiness. Little did I know that I was being set up for a kick in the face...

...And what a glorious roundhouse it was! The summer before my senior year in high school, the Lord did an extreme soul makeover inside me, and in a period of a couple days I went from the 'pursuit of happiness' being my life and all that I am to God becoming infinitely worth it. I had been blindsided by the outrageous love of Jesus! Only then did I realize that I desired joy the whole time, and I had no idea what I got myself into. My world was turned upside down and I didn't even know it...that comes later on in the story...

Where does joy even come from? It certainly doesn't come from me, since I couldn't produce it growing up. (God loving me - his creation - and not the personas which I created comes into play here, but I'll save that for another time) That must mean it comes from the Lord...it's a gift (makes sense since it's a fruit of the Spirit). We are instructed to 'be joyful always...' how does that work? If we can't produce it how can we reflect it? That's where 'Fight for Joy' comes in. If you've experienced the Love of the Lord of the Dance (I can't take credit for that...those are Brennan Manning's words) you know exactly what I'm talking about. You've tasted that joy. Unfortunately we mess it up and we lose sight of the prize and our joy fades with it. What are we supposed to do? We fight! Is it worth fighting for? Satan thinks so - if that wasn't the case then I think joy would be easier. Lacking joy is losing sight of God's glory...FIGHT TO SEE! He wants to show us amazing things!

So, the name of my blog is 'Fight for Joy' because I desire to see. I fight because I want to see more. I fight because I think it's worth it. Entire books have been written on this topic, but this is a blog so I can only share a couple points before you get bored! I hope it encourages you to fight to see. Look into it! Thanks for reading!

Special thanks to Brennan Manning, Nate Larkin, and John Piper for helping me articulate my thoughts...

James 1:2-4, Habakkuk 1:5

I Love it when this Happens!

2008-10-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

Ever experienced one of those times when you come out of something and feel like a better person? A changed person? I wish that those would happen to me more often.

Today it happened in the form of a nap. Yes...a nap. (by now you're clicking the 'x' in the top right hand corner of your screen because this is ridiculous, or you're completely captivated...)

A life changing nap? Come on, Adam, that's absurd! Don't waste my time and everyone else's by blogging about a stupid nap... First of all, I had a pretty rough week. I'm not bragging about my week because I know people who had way more stressful weeks than me, but considering my major, it was a busy week. I normally rock between 7 and 8 hours of sleep per night. (also goes to show the vast workload i have) Actually, I really try to manage my time so that I can do that...I love my sleep! Anyways, this week I've been rocking 5 and a half to six and a half...so it's quite a decline in sleep production. I woke up yesterday really feeling it: sore throat, stuffy nose...not good. Today was worse. I wanted to crash walking to class, sitting in class, walking home from class, and eating my lunch after class. Being done at 11 on Fridays is such a blessing.

I grab my down blanket (so nice!) and my goose feathered pillow, lay on the couch and dose off to the soothing sound of Jim Rome's voice...ok his voice isn't that soothing, but it was like having a friend read you a bed time story as you fall asleep...serene! An hour later, I hear the back door open. I figure it's just Ryan so I fall back asleep. Apparently it wasn't Ryan because Ben had written me a nice little letter. All I can say is that I hope he's jealous of me because when I woke up I was a new man...completely reenergized and excited for the afternoon! My stuffiness was gone, I was completely awake, and there was Jim Rome, still talking as if he never stopped. I was overjoyed! I could almost hear the soft angellic voice in my head: "Hello Adam, this is the weekend speaking. It's good to see you again. I heard you just paid a visit to Mr. Friday afternoon nap...I hope you enjoyed his company!"

And I did enjoy his company. In fact, I was so stoked that I had to share my experience with a friend who's had a similar experience. Then I had to blog about it, and now you have to read about it. But seriously, can anyone relate to this? (Ryan Stauffer probably can...) Some people think I'm crazy when I tell them about my life changing naps (This isn't the first time) and I feel kinda sorry for them. You are totally missing out!

Bring on the weekend!

College Football Madness

2008-09-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

Dear College Football Fans,

You can't spell 'suck' without the letters "USC."

Warmest regards,

The Oregon State Beavers

WAR the Nittany Lions 31 point beatdown on the Beavs
WAR quality wins
WAR college football magic!

Literally Struggling With Forward Motion

2008-09-18T17:24:00.001-07:00

So...people always love to listening to to other people's humiliating stories. I don't know, I guess it makes them feel better about themselves or something, but when people ask me about my most embarrassing moment, I can't think of one. I wasn't embarrassed that one time I got pantsed in front of the entire track team. I actually took three or for steps before readjusting my drawers. That was then...this is now...

'Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain, we're awakening! Here we are now with the desperate youth and pain, we're awakening! Maybe it's called...' I roll over and hit my phone. 'No, not now, Jon. You and your band of Switchfoots do not need to lead me in an awakening this morning. 7:00 AM is not a good time for me. I'm tired, my throat is sore, and I most likely won't miss anything in class. Let's call it a day right now. No, Adam! Get up and go to class. Fine...I'll go to class...'

I stumble out of bed and wrestle with my clothes to get them on the right way...everything is a fight when your eyes are still closed. 'Great...even my eyes are telling me to call it quits...' After my clothes are situated, I grab the iPod and my backpack and head out the door...I'm not in the mood for hygiene this morning. My classmates will have to suffer...ohh well.

Walking to class I take a few deep breaths. The morning is absolutely spectacular. I think mornings are especially beautiful to make the wakeup more bearable. How can you not be excited about a clear blue sky, a cool fall breeze and the warmth of the rising sun on your face? Still a little groggy I decide on Relient K to wake me up a little bit. Unfortunately I'm still a little out of it so I put up my hood on my sweatshirt and stick my hands in my pockets and just zone out and walk down the street. College Avenue has been the bane of my existence lately...they decide to replace three squares of sidewalk right where I normally walk to get to class but it's fenced off and I have to redirect my route. 'I guess I'll just climb up that bench cut in the retaining wall and walk up the Old Main lawn to get to class,' I think. 'Why is all of this construction going on now? I guess it just HAD to wait until 40,000 people walk on this stretch of sidewalk 5 days a week...'

I jump up on the seat of the bench and stretch to get to the ground above it...my foot slips...'Uh Oh! Bracing for impact in 5...wait...impact complete...assessing damage...' Thankfully my nose broke my fall. The sound wasn't all that appetizing though. (Anyone who has eaten crab or shrimp know what I'm talking about...you know...that soft, squishy *crunch* noise...ouch) I stagger to my feet and look around... 'What just happened? Why am I staring at the ground right now? I must be looking for something...makes sense. I mean I just landed on my face.' So I'm looking around on the ground for...something...iPod, cell phone, broken teeth...I don't even know. At this point everything is a reaction. Pretty soon things start coming together: 'Well, I didn't lose my iPod. I can still hear Matt Thiessen singing, "To experience the bittersweet, to taste defeat, then brush your teeth..." (If that isn't irony then I don't know what is) 'Maybe I'm looking for my cell phone. I still feel it in my pocket. Wait...MY HANDS ARE STILL IN MY POCKETS! No wonder my face left a crater the ground!

At this point cobwebs are beginning to clear. I'm crying like crazy because that's what happens when you get hit in the face. I take my hands out of my pockets to make sure everything is alright. It turns out that there is blood dripping off of my chin. Everything from my eyes to my upper lip throbs. I check the ground again to make sure I didn't bust any chicklets...my mouth was pretty sore. They were all in there so that was ok I guess. I plug my nose and stagger toward the Willard Building...easily 200 yards away. 'Great. I have to walk to Willard with blood all over my face. My nose is probably broken so it looks like...wait...what should I do? Ohh yeah! I have a pack of tissues in my pocket! I sling my backpack off of my shoulders, still holding my nose. I also take my glasses off...good thing those didn't break. I finally get to the tissues and release my nose to find a constant stream of blood gushing from my nose to the ground...if it didn't hurt so bad I thought it would have looked pretty cool. The bleeding stops enough to continue to Willard and I head to the nearest bathroom. I check the mirror: "Holy crap! Is my face really that swollen?! My nose is bruised...I never knew a nose could bruise. Dang, I'm a wreck.' I take my glasses off to wash my face only to see that I have two black eyes. 'Good thing I wore my glasses today..." By this time I'm pretty awake and swollen and awake and I get to class on time! Great, now I can zone out and think about what just happened...'Hopefully I don't fall out of my desk now...Dude, I can't believe what just happened! I royally jacked up my beak tripping over a freaking park bench! Who does that? I'm pretty messed up...people are going to notice. I can't tell them what actually happened...it's ridiculous! I'm not the guy who gets in fights...that story won't work...maybe I should just own it...could be kinda funny...what the heck?! My neck hurts! Did I seriously just give myself whiplash from landing on my face? Dang, I could really use some Motrin...and a hug.

So I'm owning it. If you see me around and you think I sound congested it's probably because I am. All of that blood coagulated in my sinuses. It's pretty embarrassing but I think it makes for a pretty good story! Ohh yeah...my throat isn't sore anymore either. And if you're interested, check the semi circle bench along College Avenue caddy corner from Pugh Street...you'll be able to see my blood...

A Familiar Experience In A Brand New Place...

2008-09-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone out there in internet land! Welcome to my blog. I credit my roommate and best friend Ryan Stauffer for persuading me into doing this, (Ryan, you have a gift my friend) as I was on the fence about it for a while because I didn't really see the point of me blogging. Who wants to read what I have to say? What would I write about? I don't really need another thing to occupy my time. This kind of thing is nothing new to me, however, as I've kept a series of journals over the past four years, but Ryan and I both think that there are enough interesting (and often funny) things that happen to me to share them with everyone else.

More importantly, I decided to blog because I love people. I love listening to people talk, witnessing what other people are good at, watching people walk down the street, or even reading about what they have to say. I'm the kinda guy that would love to get coffee with you and listen to you talk for an hour and not say a word and feel totally blessed by you. I'm the kinda guy who'd get coffee with you and neither of us talk for an hour and totally enjoy your company. In fact, some of the best conversations I've ever had with people have used few words, if any: "I love you." It's probably the least complex yet most profound exchange of words in the history of language. I feel like I owe this blog to the people that make me happy.

I'm pretty intentional in terms of how I speak and act: I say things I mean to say, and on the flip side I also intentionally don't say things, so this blog will be pretty real. I'm often all over the place in terms of my emotions and where my head is at. I'm not saying that I'm the King of Drama Queens or that my life is the top thrill of the emotional roller coaster amusement park...I'm just saying that I always have a lot on my mind. I think that this blog will reveal a little of that...I love to write and it's a good way for me to organize my thoughts and try to make sense of my world, although this blog will not look like my collection of journals. Most of my journaling is me at my worst (although there are lots of bright spots too!). I usually don't even like to read through them, so I'll spare you as well.

Happy Reading!